Attachment Neglect and Deprivation Trauma: How EMDR Can Help

Attachment wounds, neglect and deprivation trauma are not as well known types of trauma as what some call “Big T” trauma like physical and sexual abuse. But they are profound experiences that can disrupt the development of healthy emotional and psychological bonds, often leading to long-term consequences in mental health. These experiences may occur in childhood or even later in life and involve insufficient emotional nurturing, physical neglect, or traumatic separations from caregivers. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), a therapeutic approach originally developed for trauma, has been increasingly recognized as a valuable tool in healing attachment-related trauma.
The Impact of Attachment Neglect and Deprivation
Attachment theory, as formulated by John Bowlby and later expanded by Mary Ainsworth, emphasizes the importance of secure attachment in early life. When children experience neglect or deprivation in their primary caregiver relationships, the foundation for healthy emotional regulation and interpersonal connections is compromised (Bowlby, 1969; Ainsworth, 1979). Such early disturbances can lead to a variety of difficulties, including insecure attachment styles (anxious, avoidant, disorganized), difficulty forming healthy relationships, heightened stress responses, and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) (Shaver & Mikulincer, 2007).
Neglect and deprivation can be both physical and emotional. Physical neglect refers to the failure to meet a child’s basic needs for food, shelter, and safety, while emotional neglect involves neglecting to provide adequate emotional support, comfort, or validation. Children subjected to these experiences often struggle with low self-worth, a sense of abandonment, and persistent fears of rejection or emotional isolation (van der Kolk, 2014). In severe cases, such trauma may contribute to complex PTSD, which is marked by difficulties in emotional regulation, dissociation, and chronic interpersonal struggles (Herman, 1992).
EMDR and its Application for Attachment Trauma
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a structured therapeutic approach developed by Francine Shapiro in the 1980s to help individuals process traumatic memories and alleviate associated emotional distress (Shapiro, 2001). EMDR is widely recognized as effective in treating trauma and PTSD, and its application has extended to complex trauma, including issues stemming from attachment neglect and deprivation.
The core mechanism of EMDR involves bilateral stimulation, typically through guided eye movements, while the client recalls distressing memories. This process helps facilitate the processing and integration of traumatic memories, allowing the individual to reframe them and reduce their emotional charge. Through this process, the person can re-establish a sense of safety, reprocess negative beliefs about themselves (e.g., “I am unlovable”), and ultimately change their relationship with their trauma.

How EMDR Helps Heal Attachment Trauma
• Processing Unresolved Early Memories
One of the main ways EMDR can aid in attachment trauma is by helping individuals process unresolved memories of neglect and deprivation. Through its structured phases, EMDR encourages clients to access and reprocess these memories, which are often stored in the brain in a fragmented, dissociated state. By activating bilateral stimulation, EMDR helps the brain reprocess the emotional and sensory components of these memories, reducing their distressing impact and enabling healthier emotional responses (Shapiro, 2001).
• Changing Negative Core Beliefs
Attachment trauma often results in negative core beliefs such as “I am not worthy of love,” “I cannot trust others,” or “I am unsafe.” These beliefs are deeply embedded in the individual’s sense of self and their interactions with others. EMDR allows clients to access these beliefs and transform them by reprocessing the underlying memories that gave rise to them. This shift can help individuals move toward healthier self-esteem and improve their ability to form secure relationships in the future (van der Kolk, 2014).
• Regulating Emotional Responses
Individuals who have experienced attachment neglect and deprivation often struggle with emotional dysregulation, manifesting as intense fear, anger, or sadness in response to triggers. EMDR works by helping individuals to process these overwhelming emotions, creating space for new adaptive responses and reducing the intensity of emotional reactions. This process enhances the individual’s ability to regulate emotions and navigate relationships with more stability (Shapiro, 2001).
• Enhancing Safety and Trust
Healing attachment trauma requires a sense of safety, particularly in therapeutic relationships. EMDR fosters a sense of safety by allowing individuals to confront and process traumatic memories in a controlled, supportive environment. Over time, this process helps individuals rebuild trust in themselves, others, and the world around them. The therapeutic relationship itself becomes a corrective experience that helps individuals develop more secure attachments (Herman, 1992).
Research Supporting EMDR for Attachment Trauma
Research into the efficacy of EMDR for treating attachment-related trauma is growing. Studies show that EMDR can significantly reduce symptoms of PTSD and complex trauma, including those linked to early attachment wounds (Maxfield & Melvin, 2003). For example, a study by Paivio and Laurent (2001) found that EMDR helped participants with complex trauma, including childhood neglect, to achieve reductions in dissociation and emotional dysregulation.
Additionally, clinicians have reported that EMDR is effective for addressing interpersonal issues stemming from early attachment trauma. It has been used in treating clients with insecure attachment styles, helping them to overcome fears of abandonment and increase their ability to form trusting relationships (Shapiro, 2001).
Conclusion
Attachment neglect and deprivation trauma can leave lasting emotional scars, affecting an individual’s self-worth, relationships, and overall mental health. EMDR offers a promising approach to healing these deep-seated wounds by enabling individuals to process traumatic memories, reframe negative beliefs, and regulate their emotional responses. As research continues to support its effectiveness, EMDR is becoming a valuable tool in the treatment of attachment-related trauma, providing individuals with the opportunity to form healthier relationships with themselves and others.
References
• Ainsworth, M. D. S. (1979). The development of infant-mother attachment. In B. M. Caldwell & H. N. Ricciuti (Eds.), Review of child development research (Vol. 4, pp. 1-94). University of Chicago Press.
• Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and loss: Volume I: Attachment. Basic Books.
• Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence—From domestic abuse to political terror. Basic Books.
• Maxfield, L., & Melvin, L. (2003). EMDR treatment of attachment-related trauma. Journal of EMDR Practice and Research, 7(1), 13-19.
• Paivio, S. C., & Laurent, C. (2001). EMDR treatment of complex trauma in a case of dissociative identity disorder. Journal of Trauma & Dissociation, 2(4), 83-98.
• Shapiro, F. (2001). EMDR: The breakthrough therapy for overcoming anxiety, stress, and trauma. Basic Books.
• Shaver, P. R., & Mikulincer, M. (2007). Attachment theory and research: Resisting the urge to throw the baby out with the bath water. In M. R. Leary (Ed.), Handbook of self and identity (pp. 62-78). The Guilford Press.
• van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Penguin Books.