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Parenting when you have a trauma history
I remember how healing it was to have my first child. I went through PTSD and had difficulty bonding, but I held him, nursed him, basically he was in my arms 24/7 because he cried so hard when I put him down. Then one day, the world had color – like the movie, “The Wizard of Oz.” I fell madly, head over heels with this little boy who grew in what I had believed was a corrupted, defiled, hideous body, but it did the most wonderful thing, it grew a baby. Oh, the healing I received. And, to be totally, unreservedly in love with this little boy was an amazing…
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Pandemic Resources for Mom (well for anytime!)
On this Mother’s Day, I’ve included a somewhat diverse set of imagery depicting mothers and children. But is it truly representative of our experience of motherhood? I couldn’t find images showing mothers trying to juggle working from home and managing online schooling. I couldn’t find mothers comforting crying children, or mothers in the middle of the night after a day of work outside the home or work inside the cooking, cleaning and doing laundry. I couldn’t find images of mothers who feel the loneliness that the pandemic has imposed on us. For mothers, there aren’t play dates to get together for support. In labor, for a period of time some…
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Addiction, Anxiety, attachment, Coping Skills, COVID, Depression, Mindfulness, Postnatal, Pregnancy, Somatic, Trauma
I can say NO? No Way! – Boundaries
How did you feel after you read through this list? Or did the title of the blog post simply kind of blow your mind off? The graphic above has some great prompts to think about when you are trying to establish some healthy boundaries. When we have grown up in homes where there was substance abuse, mental health struggles, financial issues, domestic violence, incarceration, physical, sexual, verbal or emotional abuse, we often develop a set of faulty beliefs about what we can say no to. We may become people pleasers, always molding ourselves around what we think others want of us. We may develop avoidant attachment styles where we simply…
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Great TED talk on the brain, mind, regulation and relationship
I really enjoy learning more about how the brain works, why grounding and mindfulness and relationships repair and heal our brains especially from childhood trauma. I find the science to be so hopeful and optimistic that instead of learning to cope with trauma, we can heal, truly heal. So I am sharing this video of Dr. Dan Siegel talking about the brain, explaining how it functions and is related to the mind and relationships.
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Another important video that guided me into this work
Dr Gabor Mate on the misunderstanding of trauma by society and the medical industry presents this video on the misunderstandings of the ACE study, trauma, addiction, attachment, and authenticity.
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This is why I believe in the ACE study and work as a therapist in the area of recovering from trauma
Here is a video that changed me… taught me that traumatic events, especially in childhood are at the roots of physical, emotional and socio-economic issues. This TED talk by Dr. Nadine Burke Phillip – “How Childhood Trauma Affects Health Across a Lifetime” “Childhood trauma isn’t something you just get over as you grow up. Pediatrician Nadine Burke Harris explains that the repeated stress of abuse, neglect and parents struggling with mental health or substance abuse issues has real, tangible effects on the development of the brain. This unfolds across a lifetime, to the point where those who’ve experienced high levels of trauma are at triple the risk for heart…
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How is COVID affecting your mental health?
At this point, I do not believe that anyone can deny that COVID has dramatically affected their lives. I hear of stories of adult children who are unable to visit their elderly parents in nursing homes. I know of another family whose mother was hospitalized, and they were unable to visit her during the hospitalization. Visits via online options like FaceTime were attempted, but often the visits did not happen. Nurses were busy and unable to assist elderly clients with the technology needed to facilitate the visits. So loved ones were separated not just by distance but even technology was unable to assist in keeping them connected. The statistics for…
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CliftonStrengths
CliftonStrengths was previously called StrengthFinder. This is an extensive assessment to determine a person’s five top strengths out of 34. Well, you can purchase the entire report for a little more money. Strengths include terms like Achiever, Strategic Thinking, Restorative, Harmony, Adaptability and many more. A person cannot have a poor set of top five strengths! All of them are valuable. The assessment is used frequently in business environments although I have found it useful for individuals who are looking for a new career, want to improve their relationships, want to work better with their children or figure out how to homeschool more effectively. Basically it finds five strengths that…
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Addiction, Anxiety, attachment, Coping Skills, Depression, DID, Dissociation, Mindfulness, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Somatic, Stillbirth, Trauma
What does “bottom up processing” mean?
A lot of effective therapy is considered “top down.” As in we talk, using our brain, cognitive work. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a tried and true and effective method for therapy. I happen to use “Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: ACT ( pronounced like the work “act”) to do this cognitive work. But we know from research (in fact the more research that is done, the more it confirms this fact) that trauma memories are stored quite differently than regular memories. Trauma memories when re-experienced can feel here and now, and unending. Often times, they are experienced as “emotional flashbacks.” That is a feeling that has no words or explanation of…
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What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: ACT?
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: ACT (pronounced like the word “act” is a cognitive behavioral approach of therapy. I will write more about why I use ACT in working with clients. More to come…